My Life;
Is being taken over by AP classes, ASB, volleyball, college apps, and whatever else crap that is making me feel exhausted, broken, and dead.
Oh, and I think both my eye-sight and hearing is going away…
maybe;
Before anything, TOMORROW IS ONE YEAR FOR ME AND DOM! :) YAY! (And even though below is sad and depressing, being about to celebrate one year is one of the happiest moments I’ve had, so don’t think that I’m letting whatever down there make me unhappy about tomorrow. I would never do that.)
For the first time in seven months, I wrote in my journal. And usually, my entries consist of how my day went, and the “happier” things that have been going on.
This entry was different. I don’t know what made me come to write something so…depressing. I don’t know if it’s because of my days lately, how I’m always so exhausted and stressed, even though it’s still summer. I don’t know why I’m seeing the bad things, before the year that’s supposed to be the best. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over whatever’s on my mind, bugging me. I don’t know who or what could make all of this go in another direction. I don’t know why there are things still bugging me that shouldn’t even be. Ughhh. I just DON’T KNOW.
Sam, figure this damn shit out.
Now;
As summer winds down and the anticipation for the start of school is confusing, I’m starting to realize how much I’m going to hate this year. People keep telling me to “live it up-it’s your senior year” and “don’t trip out, just relax”. But things are easier said than done. Sometimes I feel that there’s something inside me telling me that changes are going to happen NOW- whether for the good or bad, whether I like it or not, whether I have the ability to control it or just let someone take it into their own hands. I’m scared. I’m mad. I’m upset. I’m worried. I’m flustered. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I am supposed to or should act. I’m starting to feel sorry for myself.
I never should have.
YAY;
I’m so proud of myself ! Top 50 for a scholarship! Hopefully I get it!!! :)
This definitely wipes out how lousy and craptastic I’ve been feeling.
